Mr. Mischief

William, like many babies his age, has become quite skilled at destructing the world around him and driving us insane in the meantime. It doesn't help that he loves an audience and Theo thinks every one of his infuriating antics is absolutely hilarious. He also doesn't really understand the word "no" yet or at least it doesn't give us the response that we are actually looking for. Here is a list of a few grievances we are facing at the moment:

1. Putting everything in his mouth. A lot of babies do this, but Theo never really did so we are in uncharted, frustrating territory,

2. Destroying (and eating) any plant or flower that comes within his reach. This moved into my top ten annoyances this week as he snapped one of my tomato plants in half and dug up all of my dill seedlings. I am toying with the idea of installing a deer fence around the garden until he gets older.

3. His obsession with shoes. Multiple times a day I catch him with a shoe or slipper that he managed to get a hold of and of course put in his mouth. Dustin and I have already decided that once this oral fixation stage is finished, we need to take him in for a good deworming.

4.Pulling the caps off of markers and eating the tips. Since Theo is always drawing, this happens way too often for my liking.

5. Pulling the front of his pants and diaper down so that just his little bits are dangling out, thus rendering his diaper ineffective.  I catch him in this liberated state at least 3 times a day. I am thinking of devising a system of diaper suspenders before I have to clean up too many puddles of pee.

6. Throwing things out of our second story window and balcony into the parking lot below. This was more annoying a few weeks ago, but since I zip-tied fine netting over the bars to stop him, my trips downstairs to collect all the odds and ends thrown down have lessened. 

He has an uncanny ability to scan his surroundings and detect any weakness in the baby proofing defenses. Accidentally left a cord plugged into the wall? Within minutes he is there, sucking on it and most likely shocking himself. Forgot to close the safety lock on the fridge, cabinets, or trashcan? Within seconds the cabinets are empty, the eggs have been pulled from the fridge and dropped on the floor, nasty things have been pulled out the trashcan and strewn about, or he is sucking on a shoe. I know this curious and exploratory phase is a natural part of brain development, but sometimes I feel like placing him in a sterile, white padded room where he can do the least harm. I am really looking forward to the day when he understands commands!


Carol said...

Grandpa suggests some electric fencing.

Unknown said...

So sweet! Easy for me to say, I know =)

Remember when Theo would put on every pair of shoes imaginable and clomp around in them - especially my high heels?

The Freys said...

I can distinctly remember that horrifying moment when we caught Ari about to dig his hands into the log that Pepin had just laid in the entrance to our house! Like you say, it was in a moment where we had failed to put the baby gate back up.

Laura said...

@ Marn, I am sure that grandpa could devise a really effective system of electric fencing and mouse traps to keep William in line!

@ Diana, Theo still loves high heels. Oh, and my make up. Mostly he asks me to draw mustaches on him with eyeliner, but he always requests a bit of mascara and blush as well :)

@ Jess, haha! After the number of times I saw Ari petting the cat with his teething biscuits and then eating them I am sure he has his share of animal germs. I can't think of the number of times I have wanted to wash out the kid's hands and mouths with bleach!